I was very much reminded today that I remain a flawed man. As stated in the voicemail it also reminded me of Jim Cross. We are both flawed men and it is only by the grace of the Lord that we will reconcile. I continue to live in that hope, but it seems the evidence before me is that I live in that hope alone.
But to make it clear I did a video and email to him and of course sent it to all. It is repeated below.
Tomorrow I will probably make another 10 to 15 mile hike, which is a joy. During that time I will probably have wonderful interactions with one or two Mormon friends, and that will also be a joy. At least one is very desirous of our continuing dialog on the veracity of Scripture compared to the works of Joseph Smith. That is yet another joy and an act of love. I will also probably spend some time with my friend Gary, the amputee, and Lynn. It is so clear that I bring joy to him as he is typically sequestered in his home. But will the day include an email from Jim Cross as requested?
Dorothy-Jane, do you not see that there was, is, and will remain one man who truly loves you. It is not your dad, it is me!
You remain on my mind, in my daily prayers, and thought of a lot today. I demonstrated that I remain a flawed man as I spoke inappropriately in a phone call this morning. It was a strong tone, but not vulgar. It was not what a follower of Christ should have done.
The tension of the moment broke my resistance. Post the call I considered the last phone call we had, which I was well over two years ago, since it was at my former residence. You have also kept silent to my numerous email and video attempts to communicate with you, with the once exception of our email exchange in mid-December. You can be reminded of it at: http://family.kozlowski.org/Email-2019-12-16+1
I offered solid theology and used numerous verses from the Scripture as my reference. You offered sales lines, or as I stated “You have locked the door and then said come in”. My great concern is that you have done so much sales that you sold yourself on your own self-righteousness. You are a very flawed man, but again, so am I. The difference seems to be that my reference is the Scripture and I seem to be the only one attempting to reconcile. It doesn’t have to remain me alone.
Let me remind you of the passage in Luke 18
9He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: 10”Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ 13But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Don’t you see that you are the Pharisee? Can you not see that in our last email exchange? Is that how you want to live? Is that the model you want to set before your kids, including my wife, and my kids? Do you not understand that is what you are doing, but just as I used the example in the video of my drinking of wine, you too can mature. You and I can reconcile, but “You have locked the door and then said come in”. It doesn’t have to stay that way.
I also thought again of the last time I had a dialog with your dad. It was the most wonderful we ever had. It seemed like he dropped the façade and we had a wonderful in depth dialog. Unfortunately it was only one. It remains my hope we can have more than one. Do you share that?
Let me also remind you and others again. One day my young kids will find out about the effort I put into reconciliation. What will they think of those who said no?
This weekend would be a wonderful time to make a serious start. You have my email address. It is unlocked and I am asking you to come in. No preconditions are set.
The video below is attached and online.
Please also tell my wife I love her!