Topics for today:

A quote from 10 years ago:

I wrote another email to James Graveling late last night. I just got a detailed response. By far, I have felt loved by him more than any other. He has given wise counsel and backed it up with relevant scripture. I have read the email first quickly and again slowly while looking up the reference scripture. He has pricked me where I was wavering and given great encouragement to proceed.

I have repeatedly ask the Lord to end my days and James has pointed out why this is wrong. Emotionally I do not like this, but his arguments are sound. I have been concerned about this for some time, and James pushed me firmly over the edge. I will repent of making that request. It was wrong and self-centered. The Lord has shown His grace in my life and I have much to rejoice over. My attempt to remove myself from this earth was not stopped by my weakness, but by the Lord’s grace. The fireball that I could have dwelled in yesterday was clearly shown to not be for me. Our Lord kept me going for two decades of loneliness, and He surely has the strength to do it again. However, this time not only does He know me, but I now know Him. I don’t have the strength to carry on, but the Lord has the strength to carry me. I will press on.

Today’s postcard